monday rush.

okay. so today is monday. the day before our quarterly tests. nothing nice happened today (except for the fact that there's computer class), and something bad happened. it's something that will make a great damage to my grades, my friendship, and the way teachers see me.

we have this project in filipino class (ugh), and it's due today (or a while ago). i chose this certain person as my partner 'cause: 1. i have no choice, and 2. she's my friend. so... i thought she'll contribute something, but turns out, she hasn't. okay, my closest friend (which is somehow gay), told me that i was so stupid in making that choice, given the fact that she's lazy. but come on, i've been doing this for like 2 years now. i'm fine.

now. we pleaded with my teacher (who has a grudge on me 'cause she thinks i'm STEALING her LOVE, which is my ADVISER). i told her that i'll give it to her after class (5:00). and we're dismissed at 4:10. which means i'll go home, type, print, and go back. besides, my house is near the school. i can do it.

right. i CAN'T do it. i passed the project at 5:13. i just saw her walking home, so i gave it. whew.

tired. tired. tired. i even cancelled my dermatologist appointment just to finish it. oh my gandhi. :((

rainy days and fridays.

okay. friday. we had our p.e. class early in the morning. mastery test about batting (softball). ughh i can't believe i'm going to fail. before our turn, i saw him (74). he saw me too. like you know, eye contact. and he passed by. my friends tell me that he was saying hi, but i was too busy mocking (or practicing to be one) the corps people to notice. i just saw him pointing a finger at me as if he's suspecting me of something. haha. and it was my turn. i failed. 0 bats in 5 throws. ughh.

english class, we had our graded recitation/review. i got called, and wee i got a perfect score! :) cle, the best part. we had our long quiz. and a little chat with our teacher. cool.

filipino class is, as usual, boring. music, mastery test. hard. haha.

clubtime! people from the film critics' club went to our room (music club room) and interviewed us. i was part. haha. i find the people there nice, especially the corps people. cool. haha. xD

realizations. from multiply.

haha. marami lang akong narealize.

galing sa blog ni inna... (sorry inna alam kong tinatago mo yung blog mo pero namangha lang ako sorry talaga...)

"I was thinking about about what me and my friends were talking about yesterday during gym class. Is it because of insecurity that people hate other people? One of my friends cam from a province and she's super smart that she skipped two grace levels at school. Some people would think of her as a freak and brand her as that. But so what if she's different? Maybe because other people envy her because of that and that's why they hate her. It makes sense right?"

points ko...

1. i'm not super smart. but yes, i skipped two levels.
2. yes, they call me a freak.
3. oo nga naman. so what?
4. they freaking envy me? maybe. but it's also because of my attitude.

another.

"I know that Gen is always going through a lot of problems. And blueflower said that she hated it that Gen's too sensitive that she gets herself involved in stuff that doesn't include her. I say, Gen has a big heart. She always cares for other people--for what they say, do or think. But blueflower is entirely different-- she doesn't care and give a damn about anything that other people do."

points ko ulit...

1. oo. marami akong problema nung time na yun. see my other blog (kaso wala dun).
2. i admit, sensitive ako masyado. kahit hindi ako yung may problema, damay ako kasi kaibigan ko yun eh. yung tipong ganun.
3. yeah. magkaiba nga kami. maybe it's because i'm younger than her? i dunno. pero that doesn't mean na mag-aaway na lang kami forever and ever amen (or at least until hindi na kami matawa kay "kim jong-IL").

ok. i may be paranoid. i may be super sensitive (prick me, i'll bleed). pero kaya kong magbago. but don't expect me to change within 24 hours (or within a lifespan of a fly na papaluin na ng pamalo). :))


thanks inna. sorry ulit. sorry din jadel. (kasi naman ang weirdo ko eh. xD)

ny head hurts.

ugh. my head hurts. haha. this day is so frantic. somewhat happy, but still frantic. hah. math time (wow my favorite time of the day! *sarcasm*), ugh complex rational expressions. but it's kind of fun. english time, well it's nice cause i got the turtle coloring page! weee. but got to admit, filipino class is so boring. i slept, actually.

biology (my other favorite time of the day! *more sarcasm*), we had our review for the freaking mastery test. instead of reviewing, they discussed about the preservation/dissection thing next january. i mean, will that help you in your test, since you HAVEN'T DISCUSSED ANYTHING FOR THE PAST MONTHS? ugh. then noise filled the air. make it LOUD noise. at my left, right, back, and front (aka the teacher). it'll really make your head hurt. UGHH!!!

then we had our health class. it's our mastery test already. practical test about first aid. i was expecting my partner to help me, but turns out, they changed my partner! and she was like, "i thought you studied? why didn't you help me?" i mean, she didn't ask for help. she's actually being a show-off that time that i didn't bother to tell her that she's actually doing the wrong thing. she's acting as if she knows EVERYTHING, right? and the pain in my head got worse. ughhh.

lunch time. we had a conflict with one of my friends. turns out, she's also pissed off that time. we just had a little misunderstanding. but i know my fault. i thought she's being sarcastic when she asked why we didn't go up yet, while at that time i was still eating. so i answered her sarcastically too. yep, misunderstanding. but we all got that settled down. we're cool now.

history class!!! my real favorite subject! we had this tableu thing as part of our review for the mastery test. our group got the gandhi part. since i know lots about gandhi, i helped them. COOL!!!!!! hah. then computer class. we had our hard mastery test. for 50 minutes we're supposed to do this flash movie thingie. but i got it done. haha.

but my head still hurts! and i haven't seen him yet! awww... :((

open letter.

to all those people in authority,

we may not be the ones you expect us to be today. we may be the ones that are actually the opposite of what you expect. we may be pompous. loud. selfish. self-righteous. and whatever negative traits that you can describe us.
we may not be the ones you think we MUST be. the cream of the crop. the model. the ones to look up to. no. we may not be the smart and holy and caring and whatever positive traits that you want us to have (or imbibe to us).
we may not have in us the true concept of the pilot class, but that doesn't mean that we couldn't change.
yes, we may be challenging authorities, but we don't even have the intention of doing it. we may not have the qualities of a pilot class, but that is because we're also preoccupied with other problems. sometimes we're misunderstood. sometimes we're over judged.
this may be the umpteenth time we've said this, but... please give us another chance. another chance to prove ourselves. to show you that we could change for the better.
if you still believe in us, please trust us. if you don't, then i would be very puzzled at the fact that you even bothered to waste your time reading this letter.

with care,
a student

naguguluhan ako.

i can't take it anymore. i'm confused. why is there so much chaos in this world that even the poor got poorer and the government doesn't give a damn about it and even in the classroom, the second humble abode of a child, there is CHAOS? okay. i have issues with my class, i also have issues with my circle of friends.

with my class. DEDICATION. many teachers hate us because of our arrogance, pompousness, and stuff. according to my wonderful source, they say that we have a big head already. we're backstabbers, gossip people, plastics, and side commentators. okay. they're right. but we're still adjusting! i mean, does this means that we should change (or expect us to change) within 24 hours? because we're SOPHOMORES? right. nice one.

and with my friends... some of my friends don't want this particular friend of mine because of his attitude. i like him, actually, as a friend. but they don't understand that. and they're like these people who think they're so self-righteous that they want to do everything they want? ughh!

help me guys! gimme advice! :((

redeemed.

so... remember yesterday? yeah. reap sharing (aka gospel class), there's this something, you've got a friend thing...

physical education class (p.e.) is boring. as usual, i suck at volleyball. duhh. recess, i'm supposed to talk to my adviser, but i remember that i had an appointment with my history teacher because i haven't taken the quiz. but he forgot, so i'll have it after lunch. after english, i met him in the hallway, and we talked for like 20 minutes. doubts gone, confusions cleared.

WHAT I'VE LEARNED FROM 20 MINUTES WITH MY ADVISER:

1. i have a strong personality. ("...look, you have a strong personality, and i think you know that. you even have the courage to blurt out something in front of me...")
2. 'they' are not actually popular. ("to tell you honestly, they're not that smart. they're not that beautiful. but why are they popular?")
3. we let them be popular. ("the only reason why they're popular is because you let them be popular. you let them step on you.")
4. if they say bad things about you, prove them wrong. ("if they say you're a slut, prove to them that you are not a slut.")
5. show them what you've got! ("galingan mo!")

wow. first impressions are sometimes correct. and sometimes wrong. thanks elmo.

going on... at last, filipino class is done. the speech choir is over. i think we're just second place. *sigh*.

aww.

okay. thursday. math time, our adviser/math teacher got mad at us cause we kept on insisting that we need to practice for filipino. for me, it's alright. but some people insisted. so... the topic shifted to our stage play. i remembered our stage director whom i hate so much. so i told my seatmate, "noe, set a, set c." and all of a sudden our adviser got pissed off at me. "you know, i'm sick and tired of your side comments, you know that?" come on. he's not the topic. but it made me cry the whole day. weird.

after dismissal, my seatmate explained to him that he is not the one i'm talking about. hey, i'm supposed to be the one talking, right? but it's alright. actually i don't have the guts to talk now.

what will happen to me tomorrow? *sigh*